Blog post from one of my episodes: Never Been Touched
In this episode of Midnight Confessions, Elle Luna Quinn; Tantra practitioner; talks about the vital role physical touch plays in a Tantric practice, and its deep connection to human nature. She explores how intentional touch can enhance spiritual and emotional connection, helping us foster deeper relationships with ourselves and others. Tune in for a fascinating discussion on the power of touch and its transformative impact.
(Transcribed from podcast episode. (You can listen to this episode here)
Welcome to Midnight Confessions. I’m your host, Elle Q
Today, I want to talk to you about something deeper… the experience of never being touched.
And that can mean many things. Maybe you’ve never experienced intimacy. Maybe you’ve never been held, hugged, or had your hand gently taken by another. Maybe you’ve never curled up next to someone on the sofa and simply felt safe in their presence. It can look different for every person, and that’s completely okay.
One of the reasons I was drawn into Tantra is because of how deeply it connects people. It awakens something within you and helps you express what you need in the moment, whether that’s a soft caress, a gentle touch, or simply being held.
Think back to the time of the pandemic, when everything shut down. We couldn’t go on dates. We couldn’t see each other. We couldn’t hug, hold hands, or experience physical connection. We were isolated in our own worlds.
And now that everything has opened again, something has changed. Dating has changed. Communication has changed. So much of our connection now happens through screens. And because of that, many of us have become disconnected from our own sensuality, our own bodies, and from each other.
Have you noticed that? Have you felt disconnected from your own needs? Have you forgotten how to express what you desire to your partner or lover?
Because that’s the beauty of communication. Being able to say, “I need a hug,” or “I want to feel close to you,” or even just standing together in the kitchen, cooking, laughing, and being present.
What I’ve noticed most is the loss of simple touch. Holding hands. Leaning into each other. Small, quiet moments of connection.
I love people-watching in my neighborhood. I love seeing people smile, play, and just enjoy life. But what I love most is when I see a couple holding hands. There’s something so simple, yet so powerful about it. You can feel the connection between them, even from a distance.
And at the same time, I also notice the disconnect.
So I want you to pause and think about this. When was the last time you truly touched your partner? Not out of habit, but with intention. A soft touch on their hand, their foot, their arm. Taking a moment to feel them, to be present with them.
Touch doesn’t have to be intense to be powerful. Even the gentlest contact can awaken something in the body. A simple glide of a hand across the skin can bring sensation, awareness, and connection back to life.
But many of us don’t express what we need. We hold it in. We worry about saying the wrong thing or making the other person feel like they did something wrong.
But that’s not what communication is about.
The beauty is in learning each other. Exploring each other. Understanding what feels good, what creates connection, what opens the body and the heart. There is no right or wrong when it’s done with care and presence.
Some people have never experienced this kind of touch. Sometimes because of trauma, sometimes because they don’t feel worthy of it.
This is where my work comes in.
When a client comes into my space, I pay attention. I listen to their words, their tone, their body language. I notice if they’re holding tension or if they begin to soften. I notice if they allow themselves to melt into the moment.
Because that’s what this space is for. It’s a space where you get to be who you truly are. Where you can express what you haven’t been able to express. Where you can feel what you may have never felt before.
And in that space, there is no judgment. Only presence, awareness, and connection.
So I ask you this…
When was the last time you allowed yourself to be touched with intention? Or allowed yourself to explore your partner’s body slowly, mindfully, with curiosity?
And if words feel hard, there are other ways to communicate. You can guide with your hands. You can gently show what you need through touch. You can create connection without even speaking.
This is about learning each other.
It’s about connecting again.
And if this kind of intimacy feels unfamiliar, start small. Go for a walk. Hold hands. Even just touching fingers can awaken something beautiful.
And this doesn’t have to be romantic. You can hold a friend’s hand. You can create connection in simple, human ways.
Touch is not just physical. It’s emotional. It’s energetic. It’s connection.
So I dare you…
Go for a walk. Hold someone’s hand. Feel what happens in your body.
Just start there.
XOXO, Elle Q